" Wanna love me? Wanna touch me?
Think twice cuz you gotta long way 2 go
Don't know howda act, bettah fall back
It's like that cuz you gotta long way 2 go
It's not that deep, take it easy, you wanna please me?
Got a long way 2 go,
I'm a bad girl You wanna get close?
Ease up cuz you gotta a long way to go "

Cassie

Long Way 2 Go

Surat Untuk Hati

Dear Hati,

Menangiskah kau lagi Hati?

Berkecai,dipijak kemudian dicantum semula,

bersinar dan akhirnya berkecai kembali.

Apa salah kau Hati?

Adakah kau terlalu lembik hingga sesuka hati insan lain

memperolokkan kau?

Sabarlah Hati, tabahkan dirimu kerana aku tak tahu

bagaimana caranya untuk kau bersinar kembali.

Sabarlah Hati, kuatkan dirimu...

fms

i started work already as a receptionist. I never been a receptionist before but i found out is not that easy to be one. you not only to answer the calls or help the visitor but u have to layan mat despatch yg gatal, kira stock makanan, antar surat surat org, bila org tanya surat dah sampai ke lom, tat means u have to take care of the surat or packages, kalu ckp tadek, org tuh lepas tensen kat kita, tensen sbb tak sampai sampai lagi kut..u have to take care of the invoice.. luckily ada the old receptionist is there to help me. receptionist pon very the very one also grad from MMU. She's leaving becos of she has the parmanent job as system analyst somewhere somewhere. Aku jgak tadak keje..HSBC pon x call lagik.. somemore my motivasi to come to work is MR. ELTON MARK.. Ayoo yoo soo good looking.. hehhee

At Last I Have A JOB Pple.. !
But as a contract receptionist at preduntial (how to spell ek ?!) cyberjaya..
Let see how my first day goes..

I have a job contract offer. Nadiah submitted my name but frankly I am half hearted to go. Due to the reasons of

1. I had to forget about my re do my car lesen for a while.
2. I have to stay with nadiah since the transport is not provide-able. It is not a bad thing but staying at someone place is not so much comfy.
3. I am afraid that HSBC going to call me and then I have to let go of the job offer since I am still under contract.
4. Pastuh I surely gonna tak jumpa this idiotic, ego, busuk, poyo but loveable mamat everyday. Sobs.. (refer picture below)

being jobless.. thats the thing i am good at.. went several interviews, eh i mean loads of interviw, back n forth to kl.. bazir btol duit.. keje tak dapat..met loads of guys in clubs, mypase as well.. mostly are sampah. single as ever..

i miss my frens so much. i am so lonely la kat umah. there is no one who could share my laughter as well my tears.. sometimes i lay down kat atas katil, wonder what the hell is happening in my life.. no partner, no job and frens are totally far.. bosann !!

sedey nyer.. sobs..

I haven’t written something in here for ages. As you can see, the last time I jot down something here was days after my birthday and I was completely utterly thought I have the greatest love in the world. Yeahh rite..

Between the last post until I put something in here, which is today, I went thru lots of phases. I never regretted on having these phases coz the ordeal, trauma, the pain, the joy, the thankfulness, the business and the fun are the elements that made me today. Thanks to Allah, who allows me to be alive until now and made me realize that I should have made differences in my life.. Different in the sense of the way I think or generate ideas. I am no student no more so I have to be MORE proactive- think and do differently. I enjoyed being a student and still miss every the minute of being a student. Careless and free.. Living life crazily. I miss that.

This entry gonna be long. Any of those who couldn’t be bothered, just skip and wait for the short entry. Or for those who don even give a damn, just don open my blog.. Hahha.. It just I wanted to jot down the phases I’ve been thru, so one day when I look or read back my blog, I have could recall how these phases makes me become me today.

PHASE 1

Busy-ness was the thing we had go thru. I didn’t have time to update this blog even. The hectic thing was we had to submit 2 assignments plus we had to present our Final Year Project all in one day. Mind you the 2 assignments consist of 2 damn programs each. We had to submit all of these programs in one fucking day as well had to present the FYP. How hectic was that? Since we had exam, we started late, Wani came to my house, we tried to understand what the hell the PP assignment was all about, we tried to surf info on the Internet sampai lebam and did we get any info? Sadly no.. We supposed to work in 3 but the other grupmate had to do whatever things she had to do. The next day, Wani and I got our heads into this fucking PP assg. Generally we get the idea wat assg wanted us to do. I said to Wani, “ok la wani, ko buat laa assignment AA, since dedua ni nak kene hantar the same day, pastuh kita kene fyp presentation lg..aduss” At least she helped me a bit for PP. Wani agreed, and off I went doing the damn assignment alone.. Sobs.. Started in the afternoon and ended the next morning. After that, off I went to help Wani with the AA assignment. I felt like crying for who ever irresponsible. Other pple were busy too you know and didn’t even have time to pick our noses even. After 5 am, I had finally found a coding solution for the AA assg. Thank god, Wani managed to get the first coding rite. It was 5 am and I hadn’t had a time to peek wats goin on with the FYP presentation. Off I went, writing the script for the my FYP presentation which scheduled at 3 pm. Thank god it was 3 pm, if it was 9 in the morn, I probably slip into comma. I slept around 6 am plus. At 11 am I woke up, I gathered the stuffs that needed to be submit and off I went to campus to set up the presentation and submit the assignments as well. The presentation was OK except due to misconduct of the equipments, there were understandable errors, we got thru tat. Thank god.
Nite time was happy times. Me and Karen had dinner at Friends Cafe and found new friends (Qim and Reymold). Which we found out later that Qim is just plain ass. Kerete Ayie was kindda horny, the gear got stuck in gear 1 and cannot move to any other gears. Guess, it needed a man’s hand, so Reymold’s hand soothed her. We went to Pure after that with Nurul. Met Sham n her bf n his friends. Got chanced to gedik sama abg botak yg sangat my type there.. Drool. The nite was a blast.
What saddened me was, the PP code got rejected. Aduss.. At least I did it by myself with the help of Wani, not like I copied from someone else’s work. We had to do the PP codings again with the help of Trevor. And guess what? No presentation for the PP assg since Hakim was too busy. Yehaa.
In the PHASE 1, I’ve gathered thoughts.. we have to plan our timeline perfectly. We have to grow up to and be responsible what ever task we’ve been given and do not rely on others. We have to put 150% effort on our work. No to asalkan boleh attitude. I don really like the terms LAYU in MeLAYU that gives the picture of Melayu. Melayu should not be LAYU, we must make a change so things wouldn’t be LAYU in the future and stop the dissing goin on by others.

End of PHASE 1

PHASE 2
Exams. A final one for me. I was really hoping that was my final sem and it is, syukur. The very first paper was AA and had one week gap until the next paper. I took this one week gap to the fullest, I went to JB to visit my darling bf(back then was a bf) and gave his sick sister the visit. Before I went, the thought of getting on the bus for 3 hours journey made I feel really lazy to go. With the love I had, the strong urgency of meeting up the love of my heart, aku gah kan jua menaiki bus.
Sampai sampai jer JB Khalid put me off.. He forgot the helmet. Duh !! He has the objective comin all the way from Pasir Gudang to Larkin (which is far) just to pick me up on the bike and he forgot the helmet. That really pissed me off and off he went to buy a new helmet. I know he hadn’t much money, I really pity him becos of his carelessness and that pity inside me came out of as anger. All the way to Pasir Gudang all I did see was his fault. I am sorry, I shouldn’t have yell at you over nothing, I missed you.
I stayed in JB for 4 days and 3 nites. During these days he never paid any attention to me. Nevermind, his sister needed more his attention than me as she was sick. It was sad because I was used to his tenderness, the loving he always gave me. Out of sudden, he just didn’t seem to care. I was frustrated but carried on reading my notes as in preparation of the comin exams while his nieces and nephew running amok and the upstairs neighbours went selfishly putting the full blast of volume of Malay rock kapak. How could I study in this condition? So I told Khalid, that I really need to get back one day earlier since I cant study. He replied I was kindda feel neglected, tats is why I wanted to go home early. He told me to stop play selfish and have to stay until Saturday. I agreed to stay but never to the selfish part.
Many things we have argued while I was there. We fought because there were stupid misunderstandings, miscommunications or mistuning of his and my tone. Aku really terasa when dia punya kakak told Khalid it was really unnecessary for me to fold my seluar up to my betis.. She said it is aurat. I agree. But, I went to kedai with u’re sister and she was wearing her short sleeve t-shirt. I am sure the aurat she meant include her siku to the pergelangan tangan. It was just the same rite. Furthermore, she was in the public but I folded the seluar when I was at their home. What about my rambut? I wore really tutup clothes when I am with them becos I respected them. Well, I have some kind of attitude that when pple corrected me he or she must look at her/his self first. If she is lot worse or just the same as me, I would have talk back. If she is better than me, I agreed and make a change.
I went back to Melaka on the agreed day. He called me at maghrib and that was the last phone call he ever gave me. Since then, he ignored my call, he didn’t reply any of the smses. Yes, we have fought, but he didn’t care whether I have exams or not, didn’t care whether I fail this important exam. Suddenly he just stop loving me.
After a week of exam. I went to JB again, with no sleep or no rest, I went on the bus and on another bus to Pasir Gudang and on a taxi. I was on the move for 4 hrs just to see him and talk to him and ask why he tormented me this way. I talked to him for 1 hour and in this 1 hour talk, I went to pulling my own hair drama and ask forgiveness drama. I asked or probably begged to his forgiveness. I loved him too much and I couldn’t do without him so I put aside my ego , knelt down on my knees and pull his hands to kiss, seeking for his forgiveness. He said he forgives me and it was such a relive.
I only met him for 2 hrs and had to go back to Melaka. So, 7 hrs in the bus plus 1 hr of talking plus 1 hr getting me back to Larkin, I can conclude for PHASE 2 is that.

1.I am selfish and childish
2.I don’t listen to others.
3.I am always rite and the others are wrong.
4.When I talk, I go meleweh, don talk straight to the point.
5.I never listen to him and always have to betah apa dia ckp.
6.I talk without thinking.

End of PHASE 2

PHASE 3
Eh wait a menet.. Eh aku ni selfish ker, childish ker as in tak matang ker? Aku tak dengar pendapat orang ker? Aku pikir aku jer yang btol yg lelain sumer salah ker? Aku tak pernah dengar ckp dia ker dan betah apa dia ckp ker? Aku ckp tak guna otak ker? Eh.. Kalau macam tuh WHY THE HELL HE FELL IN LOVE WITH ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?? Ntah.. I don have the answer. Aku ada tanya.. dia cuma ckp -Lin kata lin open minded, tapi sebenarnyer tak- then off he went again listing out how bad I am. He never really give me a chance to defend myself.
I have asked around whether his claims are true?
These are the response and I don lie.

1. I am selfish and childish
Pple said I am mature, I don act like a child. I never merengek nak itu ini like other girlfrens I see, I never asked him too much to do this and that. I said Ok if he couldn’t do this and that. I never asked for his money except for the phone bill. As I said I understand he never have much money. Everything needs money nowadays, do I care? No, I still loved him eventho he doesn’t have the money or education since I had hopes for him. I knew he can make it. I had the faith for him. Still I am selfish and childish.

2. I don’t listen to others.
I donno how he gets the idea. Many do not agree.

3. I am always rite and the others are wrong
Do i? I asked around. They said, I listen to others but I stand firmly on my
believed. Is not fair to say “Lin ajer sorang betol, org lain salah” Well, I am a girl
who have brain and my own thoughts. Aku bahas apa yang perlu dibahas tapi
pple said that I have so much firm in me. My firmness should be release a lil bit. I
take the idea as a membina idea. Jangan garang sangat lin..

4. When I talk, I go meleweh, don talk straight to the point.
Hehehe.. This is why u dumping me? Masa ko nak ngurat aku, bley plak aku meleweh.. Hhahahah Well as an educated person, I have to elaborate my points. Dlm peksa kalu ko kasik 1 direct answer, would the teacher would give u banyak markah. Na ah laa .. I don’t think so laa.. Hahhaah… Maybe if u pass your SPM, you would know laa kut… Meleweh kerana nak bagi pihak yg lagi satu paham apa aku katakan. Lame reason. I cannot accept that. My friends didn’t have any problem of my meleweh-ness pon..

5. I never listen to him and always have to betah apa dia ckp.
Pls refer to number 3.

6. I talk without thinking.
I think what he meant was, I talk based on my emotional. Of coz, I am a girl. Girl always do that when in the influenced of anger or sad emotions. I am just a plain human being. Mengikut org Islam, pompuan hanya ada 1 akal and the rest are nafsu. Sometimes even I am not under the influenced of my emotions, he would just have complained anyway.. It’s just that what ever I said is never up to his standard or level or way of his thinking. Whatever la ayg..


Well all the explanations I gave above don’t do any good. He said he forgive me but he continued not to pick up my calls or return my sms. Then it was time for me to loose it. I just couldn’t take anymore. How dare he treat me like fucking trash. I’ve done everything to save this r’ship but he just couldn’t be bothered.. Then now I started to send him abusive msges. I reckon that triggered him to call me. He started to accuse me those things I mentioned above all over again. Again I explained.. No it didn’t do any good. I asked him what is now? He said -Khalid pikir pasal perasaan lin kalau Khalid pergi- Eh fuck.. Bukan ko dah pergi dari aku? Tadek pon ko nak pikir pasal aku yg tgh peksa itu hari, tadek pon ko nak pikir pasal aku yg siang malam bazir air mata.. Oh please laa weihh… Then again I couldn’t say it out loud. I asked him.. -Ayang janji nak kawen ngan lin..- and I didn’t expect him to say.. -Eh, Khalid janji ker? Khalid ckap jer- I swallowed the air in my lungs. Probably what he said he loved me back then was just talk. He didn’t mean anything by it. And again.. being stupid I asked for another chance to correct my mistakes. I love him and the r’ship. He didn’t make remarks.
I called him after the last phone call again n again n again n again but he wouldn’t pick up the phone. I still had the hopes for the love and r’ship. I have sent sms stated that I wanted to talk about my future in JB as in term workin in JB and gonna call him at specific time. Nope, he just couldn’t be bothered. He didn’t answer the call. From tat moment on, I have knocked to my senses, he does not want to do anything with me anymore. I shuld have quit ages ago. So I quit.

If u read this Khalid, I know I never have been the best-est GF in the universe. I sometimes got mad over nothing. Maybe it was time for my PMS to take control over my brain. I am sorry. I should have control the PMS. Sometimes when ayg nasihatkan lin, lin just wouldn’t listen. Mungkin kerna approach Khalid tuh agak salah. Bila Khalid approach lin secara baik, lin dgr kan? I am sorry I cannot be a person that you wanted me to be. I am just lin. This is me.


The conclusion of PHASE 3 : I think I am okay as a person. It just that sometimes I need to control my anger, jangan cepat melenting. Take criticisms as a challenge. Sabar itu adalah sifat yang disenangi Allah s.w.t. I cannot be a perfect person to you Syed Khalid, mungkin ada lelaki out there would consider as I am next-to-perfect person. Probabily ada lelaki out there yg boleh appreciate lin. You have got punk again, Lin.. but chin up, dunia belum berakhir bila ko putuskan aku, masih banyak teman teman ku disini menemaniku, dunia belum berakhir bila ko putuskan aku, wajahku juga ngak jelik jelik amat, ada yang mahu.. kupikir kupikir, kupikir kupikir lebih baik aku menyingkir, kupikir kupikir, kupikir kupikir lelahhh… Yeahhaaa !!

End of PHASE 3

PHASE 4
Duduk rumah doin nothing is not good, so aku tanya mak
Mak, tadek ker keje apa apa yg lin leh buat?
Pastuh mak kata ..
Ada, keje kat opis mak berlambak. Ko jadik secretary mak la.Ko type type apa yg patut pastuh ko remind mak la benda benda nak kene buat..Ok ker tak? Keje 7-4...
Aku pikir pikir balik, ok laa daripada ngangkang dpan TV.
Then aku tanya.. Baper Rm per day? Rm10 ker?
Eh murahnyer. Rm20 la jawab mak
Makan minum ditanggung oleh majikan. Kalau malas nak g keje, leh cuti tanpa alasan or MC, ok?..Aku berbunyik..
Ok..Kata mak sambil baca surat kabar, barangkali bosan nak melayan kerenah aku.

Mak aku HEM sekolah menengah. Dia bz ngan meeting sana sini, sometimes kene ganti the pengetua, sometimes chasing budak yg ponteng sekolah, meeting parents, kene gi rumah bebudak yg bermasalah, kene buat kempen itu ini.. kene mengajar lagi pastuh mak aku ni tak laa computer literate. So aku la tlg beban dia sket. Skarang aku baru tau SPECIFICALLY betapa susah jugak nak carik duit.

Memalam either aku ngalamun ingatkan kat Khalid. Atau marathon tgk TV selagi World Cup lom start. Ada juga aku miss call all the potential rebound and see who’s gonna call back. First attempt, nobody called back. 2nd attempt I got lucky, a Manipal student guy ( I used to scandal with him ages ago) called back asking wat the hell matter with me.. We chatted erm I mean we gedik on phone… These carries on every night for a week,till I’ve got bored. There was another guy called Fadzmel and it was on n off gedik. Then I smsed Reymold (the guy I met in Phase 1), then I go gedik plak with him until now. Reymold is a nice Sri Lankan fella who is just sweet.

The exam results were out. Aku bersyukur sangat sangat kepada Allah s.w.t kerana aku pass sumer papers. Alhamdulilah. Leh aku convo..
MMU reopened. How I wish I am back in Melaka.

During this phase, I have been offered to go 4 interviews. I rejected 3 interviews since 1 is in JB and 2 I just could not be bothered to have a try. I chose to go to marcusevans. I applied for the sales exec. post. The 1st interview which was on the phone. The interviewer which happened to be a guy (mid 30’s judging by his voice) asked many questions and even called myself “dear” when I answered him by text book answer and he laughed becos of my foolishness. He even asked me why I’ve got good English even tho I Live in PD. It just another way that is much nicer than -Eh ko ni budak kampong.. terer ckp omputih ni..- Then he asked to come in the office for the 2nd interview. The 2nd interview was a major success and the interviewer is Chinese girl. The 3rd interview was a disaster, I was interviewed by the sub-boss. She was a mean woman. She asked things I didn’t have a clue. The result was I failed..

I can conclude for Phase 4 is that working for money is a very a tough job. I shuld not have waste my parents money tat much. A lil bit wasting is ok.. Hehehehe.. I have made this kind of conclusion before, all guys have the sweetest mouth on earth when he is trying to woo a girl. Pijak bacteria pon, backteria still tak mati.. Aih.. Ish Ish..
Biasala, jantan.. who does not know that. Tapi Reymold is doin a good job. Letting forgetting my ex chap. As for the interview, it was a very good experience for me. Frankly, I didn’t want the job anyway.. I can learn from my mistakes for the future interviews.

End of PHASE 4

PHASE 5
Aku kantoi rokokkk.. Huhuhuh.. Mati aku.. Tapi not that dead actually. Mystery nyer mak bapak aku just ignore the fact that he or she found the pack of Marlboro. God knows how he found out that I am smoker as well as the place I put my ciggies. Tapi mak abah being extra nice to me.. Oh god.. What is happening here. I nearly fainted when I couldn’t find my ciggies at usual place. Thanks to Fadzmel for being there for me and helped me to think straight. He said when abah confronts, don lie. Just admit. If he doesn’t.. just play cool n be triple extra nice to them. That’s now what I am doin now.
Weekend came.. huyeaa huyeaahh.. I went back to Melaka. Jumpa balik my frens in Melaka. And I promised Reymold to go to Pure with him. So off we went to Pure and we had a blast. Yeah yeah.. Reymold overnight at my place (erm I mean my ex place-sorry yer girls, aku bawak balik jantan) since I need male body to hold. We talked n talked for hours until either I slept first or he did. Yeah, I am comfy with him eventho I cannot express words in BM which could be much easier than English. I even taught some BM words as such “Bodo eyy” “Giler eyy” “Babi eyy” and he has the brain to remember. He taught me words of Singhala but when I learn new words I forgot the old ones. So its useless. Hurm one more thing to add, Reymold is such a brilliant, excellento snogger. Huhuhuhu

As for the conclusion of PHASE 5, I must take my life seriously and need to quit smoking once and for all. Jangan ada semangat hangat hangat taik ayam jer. Jangan sangat leka, kene alert. Kalu nak simpan barang barang, make sure u mapped in the brain where you put it and be certain this is the place I keep my private stuffs. Reymold and I can interact, he has no problem with the way I talk as in meleweh or whatsoever. We talked many subjects, we compared countries, languages, customs and religion too. I learn that non-Malaysian guys are sweet to be true. When I talk, he shuts up and when he talks, I crash in and he shuts up Ok lets see another 3 months or so.. Oh yeah, he’s good snogger. I bet he is good with other things too.. Ihiks..

End of PHASE 5

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO MY FRIENDS
WHO BERSUSAH PAYAH MELABURKAN DUIT
UNTUK MEMBELIKAN AKU HADIAH BIRTHDAY AKU
HUUHUU
THANK YOU SO MUCH



HADIAH KAREN FOR ME.. I NEVER HAD A FUR BAG BEFORE
ASYIK BAWAK BEG CEKELAT AKU TUH JER
LEPAS NI LEH JENJALAN BAWAK BEG BARU .. YIPPIE HURAY
FOR ANIMAL LOVERS, I AM SURE THIS ONE IS FAKE FURS


INI CEKELAT HERSHEYS YG TELAH HABIH DIMAKAN. TERIMA KASEH KEPADA SHERWINA WAWA. TAK SAMPAI 24 JAM
CEKELAT INI SUDAH HABIS DILAHAP OLEH LIN



SETELAH MENGIDAM BAJU INI BEBERAPA BULAN
ASHE AND NURULHUDA TELAH BELI BAJU INI
SEBAGAI HADIAH BIRTHDAY AKU.. YIPPIE HOORAY YIPIEYAYO !
TAK DISANGKA SANGKA .. SOBS
TERIMA KASEH ASHE N NURULHUDA



BROOCH PEMBERIAN AMIRAZUA,
THANK YOU SO MUCH
LEH BERGAYA BERGAYA DI PRESENTATION FYP NANTI

THIS ONE IS FROM TAPAU AND AYIE
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE PERFUME
WANGI AND SEDUCTIVE.. NYUM

YAN, JUGA TELAH MEMASAK MEE GORENG SPECIAL
SEMPENA BIRTHDAY AKU, THANK YOU SO MUCH YAN
MEE DAH MASUK PERUT TAK SEMPAT NAK AMIK GAMBA.

THANK U AYG, FOR COMING TO MLK FOR MY BIRTHDAY
AND ALSO GIVEN A FREEDOM TO CHOOSE THE PRESSIE

THANK YOU FOR ALL WHO WISHED ME VIA
SMS, EMAILS, CALLS AND TESTIMONIALS



BERGAYA BERSAMA BEG BARU
AND BAJU BARU DI TEMPAT ASHE

5 days before I turned 23...
"ayg, lin tak dpt dtg JB la this weekend. Banyak assignments nak kene siap.."
"takpe laa syg, khalid tak kesah, nanti kita jumpa yer.."
"sorry ayg.."
"its ok.."

4 days before I turned 23..
"syg, Khalid dtg mlk weekend ni yer.."
"yer ker.. betol ni.."
" ha ah.."
"yeah yeah.."

3 days before I turned 23..
"syg, sorry sgt, Khalid x dpt g mlk, kakak khalid sakit.."
"yer ker..teruk ker sakit, ayg?"
"teruk juga.."
"takpe lah, ayg jaga kakak ayg la yer, nanti minggu lg satu lin dtg JB"
"sorry yer syg.."
"its ok.."

2 days before I turned 23..
"hello ayg.."
"lin, khalid bz ni, akak khalid tgh berubat"
2 hrs later..
"hello.. ayg.."
"setengah jam lg tepon khalid balik"
"aalaaa..."
1/2 jam after..
"ayang.."
"syg, khalid masih bz.."
"dah la ayg, bz jerr, x nak ckp ngan lin, ckp jer laa.."
tut..tut..tut

1 day before I turned 23..
"ayg, kakak dh ok skit, khalid dtg mlk yer.."
"khalid, lin dh ckp mak lin nak balik Klang dh ni, kenapa x ckp awal awal??!!"
"yer ker.. takpe la cam tuh"
1/2 jam after
"ayg, dtg laa ayg, lin pon windu ayg, lin dh ckp mak lin x jadik balik"
"yer ker.. mlm ni ayg sampai"
"janji tau, jangan x jadik plak.."
"janji.."

1/2 hour before I turned 23..
"ayanggg.."
"hi syg, sehat?"
"sehat.."
"syg, khalid esok kene balik jugak.."
"alaaaa baru jer sampai mlk, dh nk kene balik"
"akak khalid dah sakit balik, td kat bus station Larkin, suami kakak suh balik cpat,
tp khalid dh janji sama lin.."
"yer ker.."
"berbelah bagi nak g mlk ker balik balik pasir gudang, tapi esok birthday lin, khalid dh janji kat lin, x sampai hati x nk tunaikan.. syg, suka x khalid dtg??"
"suka !.. terima kaseh ayg"
"HEheheheh, mana satu nurul?"
"tuh, kerete dia kat sana"
"Susahkan nurul jer amik khalid"
"Dia yg offer diri, ayg jgn risau, ayg kan tau lin x suka susahkan org, kalu org tuh tak iklas tlg kita, buat apa nak suruh suruh-suruh.."
"okeh darlin, ckp thank u sama nurul yer"
"okeh.."


the day i've turned 23
"happy birthday, syg"
"tq so much ayg"
"syg, khalid risau kakak khalid"
"insyallah tadek benda"

18 hrs after i've turned 23
"ayg dh lambat dh ni.."
"khalid x mo balik, tapi terpaksa syg..risau kakak khalid tu"
"lin pahamm..lin mintak tlg org antar ayg, k"
"kita naik teksi la syg, jgn susahkan org"
"teksi mahal la nak g mlk central, naik bus laa yer ayg"
"lambat.."
"tapi mahal, ayg pon lom gaji lg ni"
"takpe"

20 hours after I've turned 23
"bang, g Jb ada lagik ticket bas?"
"habis.."
"bang, g Jb ada lagik ticket bas?
"habis.."
"bang, g Jb ada lagik ticket bas?
"habis.."
"camna ni ayg?"
"takpe, syg relax jer.."

21 hours after I've turned 23
"syg khalid naik teksi la balik JB, dh tadek pilihan"
"kesian ayg, susah susah sbb lin"
"eh tak susah lah, khalid jer susahkan ayg, kene teman khalid buang masa lin x buat assignments"
"tak susah per per pon, i love u"
"i love u too"

21 hours and a half
"tq sbb datang jgk lin kat sini"
"sama sama, syg jaga diri ok, panjang umo kita jumpa lg"
"insyallah lin dtg jumpa ayg lg, i love u"
"love u too, khalid sampai JB khalid sms"
"ok ayg, pakcik teksi, tlg bawak hati hati, saya sayang sgt kat laki saya ni"
"syg, malu laa"
"heheheh"

23 hours after I've turned 23
I received 2 sms saying
" if i can only touch the rainbow, i will write your name on top of it, to let the people know that today is your birthday, happy birthday my dear lin"
"khalid dh sampai tol JB"

And i sat there, sebak..
After so much years of living, years after i got to know love between a man and a woman do exists, years after I experienced my first so called love.. this is the man, i've found who has the sincerity in his heart. a pure sincerity that never be able to find inside men/boys who claimed to love me before. He burden himself to satisfy me, tore between a sister and a girlfren. I know he came with not so much of money and was tired after he took care of his sister days before but he managed to come. He didnt need to come..
Thank you so much, for the visit, even tho it was short but it is very very much appreciated.
Love you syed muhamed khalid.

THIS IS TO REMIND ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO THIS WEEK.. AND ALSO TO REMIND TO WHO EVER IN MMU TAKING SOFTWARE ENGINEERING AS THEIR BACHELOR DEGREE AND A FINAL YEAR STUDENT..

Alogorithm ANALysis - Lab report before 28 April, ASSignment on the 5th May

Parallel Processing - Assignment and 2 different codes to submit on the 5th May. (i've heard rumour that a lecturer in cyber had to this kind of question for his master in one whole sem)

Compiler Design - To design a compiler( if i am not mistaken) and submit on the 1st May

Operating System II- Project 24th April(DONE), Lab Test on 26th April

Final Year Project - Report and System submit on the 28th April, Presentation on the 5th May.

Celebrating my birthday - 30 April 2006

I have 3 things to get done on the 5th May. So this week aku tak g JB pon. Priority first. In the past 2 weeks, I have never been so tired.. Penat.. Lagi sebulan, I hope I pass all the final papers and can relax for a while and then start looking for a job. Maybe .. i said maybe I am gonna miss Multimedia University. (if i pass all the final year papers la, kalu kene datang balik surely la tak miss. i hope tak dtg balik, dh lama dah dok sini..i am one of the superseniors with the ID of 10111139838 .. skang ni ID dah 106 dah eik.. ishh)

AL FATIHAH TO MY DEAR NENEK
SHE WAS 74 YEARS OLD
SHE HAD MANY HEALTH PROBLEMS FOR YEARS,
BUT THIS YEAR SHE REALLY SUFFERED FROM HER BAD HEALTH
AFTER COMA FOR 4 DAYS AND STAYED BETWEEN
UNCONSCIOUS AND CONSCIOUS STATE FOR A MONTH,
ON 18th APRIL 2006 SHE PASSED AWAY AT 7 AM
I DID NOT MAKE IN TIME TO SEE AND KISS HER
FOR THE LAST TIME SINCE PAK IMAM WANTED
THE BURIAL RIGHT AFTER ZOHOR PRAYER.
I ARRIVED AT 1 PM AFTER I LEFT MELAKA FOR KLANG AT 8.15 AM BY BUS.
WHEN I ARRIVED, NENEK TENGAH DISEMBAHYANGKAN..


"SEMOGA ALLAH LAPANGKAN KUBURNYA DAN
SEMOGA ALLAH TEMPATKAN NENEK BERSAMA SAMA ORANG ORANG MULIA. AMIN.."

Loving memory with Hasnah binti Majid
9th March 1932 -18th April 2006

P.S MANY THANKS FOR THOSE WHO SMS ME. FOR THE ONES WHO I DID NOT REPLY BACK..SORRY, I RAN OUT OF CREDITS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
MY DARLING FRIEND
AMIRUL AZUANI ROMLE
CONGRATS FOR REACHING THE AGE OF 23 !!

THANK YOU FOR BEEING WITH ME THRU HAPPY DAYS, STRESSFUL DAYS, EMBARRASSING DAYS, BORING DAYS, HATEFUL DAYS, SAD DAYS, CHEERFUL DAYS AND FUN DAYS
FOR 5 YEARS

HOPE
YOU LIKE THE RED BRACELET

08 APRIL 2006

On the 5th April 2006, 9.2o pm I shook hand with our ex-president, Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad.

Me n Tapau went campus at 7.40pm and waited proximately 2 hours just to shake hand with our own international icon. This was the one chance of a life time for me.

Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad visited an event organized by MMU students. An event mainly about learning other cultures and coutries and was called "Around the world in 3 days". As the husband of MMU's chancellor, Dr. Siti Hasmah Mohamad Ali, he showed a moral support towards the student activity .

He arrived with his BMW of his at 8.30 pm and this is the first time I set my eyes on this petite man. He and his wife went straight to visit the booths first at the CLC concourse. One booth represented one country and each of these booth had something to present to the Dr. M. I am not sure how many booths there were but it took another one hour or so to wait.

I've lined up with the others with the camera ready in my hand. My idea was to take a picture of me and him when he walk by the path from CLC to the library. I waited patiently while my brain is processing and recalling what I have read in the evening. ( I had midterm exam the next day) Kesian Tapau kene berdiri lama. Then later, I saw a crowd walking towards the student's line. I was so ever excited. "Nak Salam , nak salam" i jumped up and down like 5 year old girl excited over a candy. The crowd was consist of the brutal press, pak gad MMU pon ada I think , as well as the bodyguards. Slow slow dia jalan and everything was in order until a guy in front of me jumped to take picture with Dr. M. The bodyguard was like meluru in the sense of nak protect the idol, since takut Dr. M nak kene cucuk dek pisau oleh the guy. So everything went kelam kabut and the guy's camera plak made such a fool, took a lot of time to take the picture. So when my turn to shake hand with him, the bodyguard was all over him as well as the press. I've had my foot stepped by Trevor, lost my slipper and got pushed by pakcik guard. Aduhh.. So I missed menyalam Dr. M. So i ran back at towards the end of the line and tolak a girl out of line and step in her place.. Huhuhu kejam but wat to do.. Then Dr. M arrived at the place I stood and shook hand with him. Lembut tangan dia. He 81 years old and cute. He was smilling but to no one in particular. Sweet. The guy at the back of me, shouted " Tun, I love you.. I love you" Tergelak dlm hati aku. I cannot find the girl who i pushed to appologize since i didnt look at her face. If u reading this girl, who ever you are I am sorry but you must understand, IT WAS TUN DR MAHATHIR MOHAMAD, you see. I do anything to shake hand with him. . Balik balik umah jer aku pening. Agaknyer aku dah absorb his ilmu into my brain and my brain cant handle too much ilmu kut..Hehhehhe

Its not easy to shake hand with Dr. M, I've got my foot stomped, lost a slipper (but i found it back right after) , pushed by a Pak Gad and being cruel by pushing the girl out of her line. It was a memorable experience.

PHASE ONE :

WHAT: Celebrating Ayisyya' s birthday
DATE : 30 March 2005
LOCATION: US Pizza
TIME: 8.00 PM till finish eating whatsover there
WHO: Karen, Ashe, Fadzlin, Fardlin a.k.a Tapau,Nurul, Ifa and The Birthday Girl

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AYISYYA' ASRINA

IFA

KAREN

ASHE

TAPAU

NURUL

AYIE

FADZLIN

ALL OF US
(The guy who took this is very inexperienced in
handling the camera.. bahh !)

PHASE TWO
PICTURES AND STORY IS NOT INCLUDED

Semalam , i went to MP, just becoz nak abih kan my Burger King coupons that i bought ages ago.. Buy one free one coupon.. Pergi ngan my darling Wani after class PP.. Bought some stuffs after we ate then we headed straight back home. Tapi aku singgah rumah Yan sbb i asked her to teman me go kelenet to get duromine. Yeah duromine to get at least 10kgs off my body.. My last choice.. The doc check my blood pressure and got my weight and height n decided to say that i am 10 kgs fatter.. oh yeahh bebeh..









Wani's food. She doesnt need her diet la of coz












My food before diet ! HuHuHu

















Wajah kegemokan (aku) dan kekenyangan (wani)












This is duromine. My food for a month

P.S teringat still kat arwah mie.. But kita yg hidup teruskan hidup dgn pelajaran yg jgn sia sia kawan kita, kita tatau panjang pendek umo kita.

AL- FATIHAH

Kepada Mohammad Suhaimi Bin Othman a.k.a Lordraptor/matahitam
yang telah kembali ke ramahtullah pada 24 hb March (Jumaat) pada pukul 3.20am.
Allahyarham telah menemui ajal nyer dengan cara menghayat hati.
Allahyarham telah mengembus nafas yg terakhir di dalam ambulance setelah
dilanggar oleh india mabok !
Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan berada di golongan orang-orang yang soleh.
Amin

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aku telah kehilangan seorang kawan yg aku telah berjanji untuk menemui dengannya, tetapi belom sempat aku berjumpa, kawanku itu telah pergi dahulu.Pergi dan takkan kembali.

Aku juga telah rasa terkilan apabila kali terakhir aku bercakap dengannya, aku telah memarahi dan tidak melayan nya dengan sebaik mungkin. Maafkan aku ! Maafkan aku !

Kata kata terakhir Suhaimi kepada aku melalui foward msg di YM

Always Treat People Your Best While They Are Alive You Never Know When They Will Be Gone - 22/03/2006
2 hari sebelum pemergian beliau

Sesungguhnya apa yang difowardkan itu betul

AL-FATIHAH TO A LOVING
FRIEND OF FADZLIN AND KHALID

"CLICK HERE TO KNOW ABOUT ALLAHYARHAM SUHAIMI"

Pada tanggal 15hb, around pkol 8 lebeh pm
Hujan telah turun di bumi Hang Tuah ini
Kurang sket panas.. Alhamdulilah

Dan juga detik pkol 12 malam 15 hb
Ifa dah semakin tuaa... Tapi aku lagi tua daaa
Happy 22nd Birthday to Nur iffah
Yip.. Yip.. Yippie

Melaka Panas !
Panas !
Bahang !
Ada 3 Kipas in one room, tidak mencukupi!
Sampai bila nak berpanas
Harap harap Allah turunkan hujan di bumi Melaka ini.
Aminn..

Aku ada baca in online newspaper yg ada cerita pasal pembunuhan kejam 4 beranak.
Mangsa Marziah Mansor, 33 anak² Allahyarhamah Muhammad Zamrie, 7; Muhammad Zairie, 3 Intan Zaharah, 1 ditemui maut di dalam rumah.
Kesian, tergamak pembunuh membunuh bebudak kecik ni.
Kejadian berlaku di Taman Kota Masai, Pasir Gudang JB.
Dipercayai si mangsa telah menelepon bapak beliau pada pkol 8 mlm, mengadu yg husband dia mengamuk sbb anaknyer Intan telah terjatuh dari buai.
Pastuh line terputus, bapak nyer call la balik, tak dapat and asked his son(adik mangsa) pergi ke rumah mangsa
Then the son arrived kat rumah mangsa, melihat suami si mangsa menangis di halaman rumah
around 8.45 bapak nyer sampai rumah terkejut dan kendian pengsan setalah melihat mayat anaknyer dan cucu nyer dlm keadaan ngeri..
polis menahan suami mangsa bagi membantu siasatan dan juga menemui sebatang besi buaian dipercayai diguna dalam kejadian tersebut
Kesiann.. Suami ni dah giler agaknyer
Mengamuk sbb anak jatuh buai, pastuh g bunuh anak dia plak
Dunia skrang semakin kejam ! Tergamak..
Anak Anak supposed to be protected.. Ish
Semoga aku mendapat jodoh dgn lelaki yg siuman dan beriman.. Aminn..

Anyway, enuff about that
Congratulation to my adik, Iqa for getting 8A in her spm
For her not good enuff, sbb fizik n kimia dia dpt B.
For me, dah abih satisfied la
Aku nyer SPM pon cam bodo bodo, akhirnyer masuk U jugak
Tapi takpa, SPM does not determine the success in your life.
Banyak lagi chances in life, It just u need to know when or how to grab it
Good luck for my sister for persuing her Asasi Sains in UM.

A friend is someone
you could be completely honest with
and likes you for who you are

A friend is someone who is there for you when things are wrong
and will support you in times of need.

It's really wonderful to know I have friends like all of you

p.s the frindges and the lost frindge

This is me, right after I've got my frindge

This is me right after I let KAREN did my frindge
Morale of these pics : DO NOT LET KAREN TOUCH YOUR HAIR !!!
Muuhahahah Buruk giler, cam budak retard jer

I have learned the a new word which is procrastinator. What does it mean?
Postpone , delayed
yeahh a new vocab in my old dictionary!

Aku ni panas baran org nyer.. terima kaseh kepada pihak pihak yang merembes kan air air sejuk di muka aku dan juga di hati aku.. terima kaseh bebanyak..this is the last i am gonna make such comment..

well, i did explain why i didnt have the money, kalu bulu bulu di badan aku ni bernilai aku dah jual and would pay the bill..takkan aku nak g melacurkan diri..my harsh words, yes? goddamn with the words.i am really piss.. bukan nyer x bayar bill bebulan, 2 weeks late.. when i said i would pay at the end of the month. I would. I certainly did not expect I will be short of money..ishh GOD ! tolerate laa sket !.. well, i've paid the bill and the next bill not yet arrived lg.. kecoh! procrastinator, bah !!! if i am one.. she hates me, i don give really give a damn..she can write in her blog, y shuldnt i?

lain kali, pls have a nerve to say it in my face, thank u

MY NAME : Nurfadzlin, it means cahaya yg belebihan

MY AGE : 23 this coming 30th April

MY LOCATION : Melaka

MY EDUCATION :

• Tadika Kemas (1988-1989)
• Happy Kindergarten (1989-1990)
  
• Sek. Ren. Keb. P.Dickson (1990-1993)
• Queens Qounty Primary School (1993-1994)
• Edensor High (1994-1996)
• SDASA (1996-1998)
• MRSM Langkawi (1999-2000)
• Multimedia University (2001-200-)

MY HOBBIES :

• Hang out with my girlfriends(nurul,ashe,karen,aisha)
• Chill with my boyfriend
• Clubs
• Shopping
• Surfing the net
• Movies
  
• Aerobics

I AM :

• Generous
• I speak what is in my mind
• I respect people who respect me
• In love with Syed Khalid
• Talkative
• A girl who treasure a real friendship
• A person who knows her duty,the other word is responsible
• Clean person

I DONT :

• Like a person who creates so much fuss
• Like a person who are impatient
• Like a person who disrespect people's condition
• Like a person who only see people's fault but cant see her/his own faults
• Like a person who practices sarcasm
• Like to take advantages
• Like people "yg tak paham bahasa"
• Like people who lie
• Smoke(quit already for good)
• Eat rice, chicken or meat (in order to have a slimmer body)

I HAVE :

• Loveable friends
• Fun,understanding,loveable boyfriend
• Personal Computer yg agak berat dgn software
• A not so nice handphone
• Less Money
• Fat abs, legs, arms
• More black clothes than other colours
• Strict mak and abah who do not spoil me with money

on February 12th , me and Karen had an idea to go swimming at Pelangi. But there was no transportation for us .. sobs.. so Karen cadangkan one lil crazy idea to walk to Pelangi !!! It wasnt far actually but as for us who love riding cars can be considered far. We started walking at 5.20pm and arrived at 6.45pm. If we had the tranportation, the journey would last about 15 mins more or less. Masa dalam perjalanan tuh, ramai jugak menoleh tgk kita org. Dia org pikir agaknyer kita org ni tourist yg sesat. On the way to Pelangi, we snapped some pictures. Memang macam tourist lagaknyer. Sampai sampai jer Pelangi, we made a dash to the swimming pool. Had to pay rm3.00. As i was expected, i was more to the badak berendam rather than a swimmer. Penat la of coz. Then at 8.00 pm we called Tapau to pick us and had dinner at windmill. Arrived home around 10 pm. Penat giler.. Lepak.. tq to Tapau :D












At the starting point with kerete nadiah dok interframe

Me and Karen

Berenti minum kat IPK

Dah sampai Muzaffar Heights. Dah jauh berjalan ni.

Dah sampai BP

Di tgh tgh jalan raya

Karen juga di tengah tengah jalan raya

Dah sampai.. YEah YEah tapi kene naik bukit 10 mins lagi

Karen and Tapau

THIS IS MY GOOD FINGER

THIS IS MY BAD FINGER

THIS ALSO THE SAME FINGER BUT WITH A CLOSER LOOK


INI DISEBABKAN DEK BERMAIN BOLA JARING SETELAH BERTAHUN TAK MAIN
NAK MAIN 3-ON-3 TOURNAMENT BERSAMA KAREN AND AYIE SO KITA ORG PRACTICE PRACTICE NGAN ORG BER-EXPERINCED SEPERTI AZNEIN N MISHA. FARAH WAS THERE TOO. nEXT PRACTICE BILA JARI AKU DAH SEMBUH AND THE COACHES ARE FREE.

Holiday is over already. Thank God for passing the weeks quikly. I am sick and tired of holding a remote and lying on my bed all day round. No wonder laa kenaikan berat badan aku melampau lampau. Plus, my mum' s cooking seriusly the best and ibu (my aunty (my dad's lil sister)) hosted a family bbq last week. My dad's siblings (7 boys and 1 girl) were all there except my dad's 2nd bro, uncle hamid who couldnt make it. Sadly my big cousins tadak on the scene but small cousins jer available. No teman to burak wif but the bbq was a major success to the idea of gaining me another kg ! yeah yeahh yippie.. i hate the look of the mirror now. All i am doing now is complaining bout me weight but i did not do anything bout it. Stupid me, but the new sem has started already n i am planning to diet down.. Khalid pon dah bunyik " montel nyer awek aku ni, comeyy".. nasib baik dia ada add the 'comey' at the end of his sentence, if not...... These are the photos during the bbq

the food .. nyumm



my sister holding the nyummy ayam



uncle din, uncle acheh and my cousin syakir



my dad excited with the food.. uncle rashid n aunty zizah looked on at my excited dad.. plus uncle acheh digging the food and and half of aunty ani



me and my sister..



my cousins zhafir and izat



oh my god .. its me ! and my cousin atiqah barbaric on the ayam



ibu and uncle mad



my mum, aunty ani and uncle acheh shy shy cat smilling and as well as one hand of aunty zizah

it took me a while la uploading these pics. Guna wireless khalid ni amat sangat slow. malas aku nak upload banyak banyak.. till next time